It was the amazing Yves Saint Laurent who famously said “Fashions fade, style is eternal.” Growing up with three sisters, I learnt a lot – both good and bad - about fashion from an early age, but one thing we all did was attend deportment school and for that I am eternally grateful to my Mum. The enduring lesson that deportment school taught me is that once you know your style, by understanding your body, you can make fashion work for you, but it will never dictate to you.

It’s a lot like the social trends we navigate as we live as well – new parenting trends, new ways of relating socially, the latest exercise fads - all of these things that challenge the way we have done things in the past and thought we knew about, can throw us off course if we are not fundamentally confident in who we are and how we do things.

The search for answers in Spirituality can be a lot like checking out the latest fashions – trying various forms on for size because you are searching for something to make you feel comfortable on the outside without really looking at who you are, what your lifestyle is and what basic shapes and colours work for your body to establish your own style.

Knowing and using your intuition is your unique style – when you understand it and why it always works for you, you have a confidence and self-trust that is a rock for you to rely on despite the fads and flashy temptations that will come your way. I teach this in my Guidance & Intuition Course by showing you who you are from a profiling perspective – how you absorb information, think and communicate - and how you can use your intuition to benefit you in every aspect of your life and then even more in the Psychic Reading Course, and on a different level in my Proactive Parenting Course.

The Danger of Faking

Like following a fashion trend just because it’s the latest thing can do a huge disservice to your body if it’s not suited to that trend (do I have to remind anyone of the tiny percentage of the population that could really wear crochet bikinis in the 70’s, crop tops in the 80’s, stretch jersey in the 90’s, and low rise jeans in the noughties- think muffin top explosion - and always look good?) I think that faking something until you believe it is incredibly dangerous.

I get very disturbed when I see 14 to 18 year old girls going out in incredibly high heels, face full of make-up and practically no clothing on; or boys with jeans hanging way past their bums exposing their underpants. Regardless of whether you or they think they look glamorous and sophisticated or not, they are going out in a particular costume to say “look at me, this is who I am, this is what I’m worth – do you find it attractive?” They are seeking their worth in the reflection of others.

In truth, the women and men of any age who are truly confident wear more because they understand that their physical value is set within their state of being and the way in which they carry themselves – not in what they wear.

To me, the example is no different to faking it till you believe in it, because the people who don’t know their style are faking their confidence, sense of self, self-esteem and self-respect. They are standing with everything exposed, in the latest fashion, with the bravado of projecting that they are confident and great but deep down they are not because they are unsure how to walk in their high heels, or grabbing their jeans from falling to their ankles, or they are constantly adjusting their clothing and ultimately, if someone went up to them who had greater power, strength and demeanour, it would intimidate and scare them.

Why You Just Can’t Fake It ‘Til You Make It

Who are you faking it for and why? Where’s the benefit? How much time are you wasting in doing that?

If you fake it until you believe it, your whole world is based on a falsehood – how then can it have power to be sustained?  If you tell yourself you are a certain way until you believe it then you need to source the mentorship, help, advice and information to stop faking it and really deliver on your truth. When confronted, many people do admit that they are fulfilling society’s obligations by faking it; but you cannot change what you do not acknowledge and you cannot develop what you have not resourced in the acknowledgment stage.

I see people faking everything around me constantly; I see people pretending to be what they’re not; I see people exposing themselves to the rules and constraints that they take from other people; so much so that it’s dangerous. You have to ask yourself what it is that you are trying to convey. Who do you want to be perceived as and what strengths do you want to be on display in your life?

I get concerned when I always see people exposing themselves to what they consider to be the latest trends or what’s generally perceived to be great now – whether that’s the latest fashions or as I said earlier, paying attention to what another mother in playgroup has told them they should be doing because it’s considered the right thing to do now, or trying the latest diet because it supposedly worked for a celebrity whose lifestyle, body shape and budget is totally different from ours.

The Liberation of Honesty

If you want to tell yourself that you are going to be fashionable and trendy but not take the steps that you need to source, support, design and develop the truth within yourself then you are simply faking who you are and what you are putting into the world.

There is more power in understanding that you are not a particular way or a particular type of person or that you may not have certain skills and strengths available to you as a resource at the moment, because in understanding that you may not have it all there you deliver an honesty in your soul and to yourself that you can action to bring the resources, people and environments into your life that will provide those to you.

Like unhooking a corset or loosening a tight tie, being honest is liberating and allows you to breathe and move with comfort and truth.

We are constantly exposing ourselves to be moderated by people’s temperament and their shifting benchmarks in society. If you are honest with yourself, know yourself, trust your intuition and fully understand your personal style and strength, it is always with you.

When everything else including your environments, people and situations move around you, your capacity to be innately who you are and your strength to drive your unique style, beliefs and truth means that you are never out of fashion. Why? Because fashion ultimately relies on style, which is timeless.