Are you with your soul mate or life partner? Are you looking for your soul mate or life partner? Such an overwhelming amount of people ask me for help with this, but in order to answer these questions I will first define what a soul mate is and a life partner is based on my Guide-given information and professional experience.
My definition of soul mate is; the person or persons who will not only walk with you throughout the journey that is your life - they will also be developmental, loving, strong, embracing and definitive within their evolution, contributing to enriching both their own lives and your life. They may or may not be your romantic partner. They can be your best friends, mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, school friend from years back or a person you met randomly and have that connection with. You may, or may not, speak to them often - but whenever you do - you pick up like it was an hour ago.
A life partner is the person who we decide to stay with the duration of our life for any of the reasons we emotionally, logically, romantically, spiritually and intellectually choose to. They may or may not add value through supporting us in these ways. They are the person we decide, courtesy of our value and belief set, to be with for various reasons including, but not limited to, sharing children, communal debt decisions made years prior and feeling obligated to stay in the relationship. This is not meant to be negative but it is my perspective based on what I have seen in over 20 odd years in my work.
Based on my work I do not believe that for every soul there is a soul mate in each lifetime.
I also believe that if what we think determines our quality of life, then what you think of yourself determines your quality of life partner and ultimately the coming together of you and your soul mate or mates.
So how do you use this information to help you, whether you’re looking for a soul mate, a life partner or questioning which one you have in your life at the moment?
- The first step to finding your soul mate or mates or improving your life partnerships is to be careful what you ask for.
I know so many people that have a little list of what they want in their potential life partner or soul mate and it is folded up in a drawer or wallet. What is the point of this? You may write the list but do you understand the fundamentals about why these points are important to you? Are you living them yourself?
You must explore this, so that you explore the essential elements of who you are and what the qualities are that you need in a relationship, not a person so that these qualities become your benchmarks of communication.
I see many people accept anyone instead of “that someone” who will treat them as a soul mate will. I see people skip from relationship to relationship doing the same behaviors and games they have always done, just with a new person in a new social arena. Be careful what you ask for as this internal dialogue will be what draws you to them - not them to you.
- Once you have explored the qualities you want in a relationship, you now need to explore how these qualities roll out in your life.
So if you decide that honesty is important in your life, you now need to know how you wish to roll it out. Say you meet a lovely person and they ask you out on a date. They ask you to an Italian restaurant but you actually don’t like Italian. But you go anyway. This may seem insignificant but you just decided from day dot to give a little piece of honesty away. You go because you have not had a date in a while and you may be feeling a bit lonely. You think, no big deal, we just won’t go again if we have another date.
To your brain you are compromising – but to your soul and belief system you are lying, because there is some belief at play that to compromise is to lie. If the date ends up being awful and you don’t go again - ok an easy exit. But what if the date is wonderful and you go out again and again and keep attending the things they like because you never spoke up and asked to try something else? It seems insignificant yet it is the first of much surrender you will give for the taking.
You need not be aggressive with what you don’t want, just honest. Perhaps a question about what else they enjoy to eat should have been explored, so that your need to uphold honesty in your life could have been maintained and the date could have gone on to explore more about each other.
Soul mate and life partner relationships are still about compromise - any form of a relationship is. However, a soul mate will never ask you to compromise who you are, what you stand for and how you action this in your life. They will pull you up when they think you need to hear it yet they will not pull you down if this is a threat to them.
Often in life partnerships people grow and develop individually at different levels and speeds. A true partnership of spirits – of life and souls - understands this and knows how to support each other and the unit this union has created during this process.
It is only when we are able to ask ourselves the question - will my partner undeniably support my growth and development, my choices and beliefs even when at odd with their own – and like the answers we receive, that we know we have a true union of life.
