Over the last few months I have been asked on many occasions what is both significant about a mentor and how do we ”find’’ them? After all, in my opinion the world is full to choking point of mentors who can help you build your wealth, your lifestyle, your future, your relationships - your everything! But who is good and who is right for you?
I believe in mentors because I believe that we need consistent growth and development to actually be productive, intelligent people.
I also believe that mentoring is about downloading your knowledge and therefore your legacy. Mentors are a critical part of your various levels of intelligence being tested and matured.
Environment
Mentors are part of your internal and external environment. Your internal environment is the way you think, perceive, desire, want and view yourself: it is the composition of all that you see yourself as being and are.
Your external environment is all the external activity in your life that filters into your internal environment. Your external environment is a collection of who you work with or for, decide to action as a career, your friends, your family, your choice of pets, your choice of living arrangements: in essence your sphere of influence.
Looking at and understanding your potential mentor’s external environment is vital. It is why I am so critical about a lot of so-called ‘mentors’ who never invest their own money into a project but take yours in their claim to be a mentor or expert; those who want to show a life of balance to you yet are in relationships that are less than productive and at times abusive; the ones who preach about spiritualism but only teach you dogma. These are the environments to be aware of as they are a direct reflection of not only the quality of your potential mentor but can be why you are drawn to them.
How do you know if you are ready for one or another one?
You will instinctively know when you are ready for a mentor because you will know that there is a calling within you to grow within an area or you will have desire to push forward to attain more within your physical life. This may be your inner need to self-develop, to become more attuned within yourself; to become more enlightened about your Guides; or it could be the desire to learn about investment to I increase your wealth to offer your family more financial options; to learn about property etc because you are passionate about development; or simply find a good mentor to help you turn a passion into a goal through a business. You may even feel like you just need to explore yourself better in order to find that passionate driven self within.
Whatever the reason, you will find an undeniable pulling to reach out and search for something and someone who can guide you. This is your opportunity for growth as well as an opportunity to be scammed if not careful.
So how do you know which is which?
Do your background check on these people. Look a little into their lives, discover how they came to be what they are. Take the time to attend some information nights or attain some information about their product and then follow your instincts- this is my opinion on your beacon for a mentor. Know they may challenge you, and push your boundaries or perceptions a bit, but through all this your intuition will have you comfortable or not deep down with the person in front of you and what they represent.
Does your mentor choose you?
Yes and no. Yes, in that in my opinion people who desire to mentor from the egotistical position of their inner self actively look for new recruits. They are both consciously and subconsciously looking for people to mould and shape and download their ethos to. These are the ones we need to be most aware and vigilant about as they run from an ego perspective and whilst may genuinely want to mentor, do so for the greater good of their own self esteem. There are also usually huge fees attached for a ‘one-stop-shop’ of wisdom.
In the no category I have witnessed some of the most extraordinary people with mentoring capacity. These are the people who go about their life with passion and presence and don't have a structured view of what they need to download to a student in order to feel more esteemed. They just do themselves to their own rhythm and honestly take those interested along for the ride. They know who they are, what they represent and want those serious about this to step up, otherwise you waste their time because they are busy just living the life they want comfortably with or without you in it- no offense.
How do you choose a mentor?
With great care. Because we all go through times of change, flux and movement our emotional environment and our physical environment may not always be conducive to making a clear decision.
So when choosing a mentor take the time to look into their lives and work. Ignore their dogma and opinions: go with your gut. If they chase and chase you to join their group or just keep telling you why you should be mentored by them be wary as this is their desire - not yours.
Ask those around you who have been able to grow in the areas you wish to who they had mentor them: word of mouth is important. And then truly look at those you have asked to see if you feel they have actually succeeded in what you wish to grow in.
I remember once wanting good advice about growing my business and someone around me suggested a certain financial planner. So off I went to him. In the course of the meeting the planner said how he was so glad this friend got out of their position but that they kept some financial behaviours that were not useful long term. He then proceeded to tell me that he had a training program that only cost $6500 and this was our investment in him running all our stuff. So no wonder my friend was having problems when he was not being mentored. In fact, he was paying this planner to fish for him instead of paying someone to teach him how to fish.
To me, mentors are about self-sufficiency - they aim for you to be self-sufficient and liberal. When they chase you, hound you and do a sales pitch to you: walk.
Most importantly with mentoring, look at why you want it, why you need it, question those in your interested areas of delivery and have a look at the quality of these mentors’ followers or students. This will give you a clear idea of the quality of the mentor’s internal and external environment
I leave you with this thought; think of the four closest people to you in your life - be it friends or family and look at the quality of their internal and external environment- this is a direct reflection of you and your environments.
