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Find Grace Not Grievance
This experience happended to me and it is important to share it due to the stress that many of us face no matter how we live. There is always space for grace rather than grievance in our lives, but it was my Highest Guide Elizabeth who reminded me of that during this incident.
I copped an insult from a lady in a store yesterday when under my breath I mumbled to myself in frustration at how rude this person was being to the poor 20+ year old trying to serve her in the supermarket when she INSISTED on paying for all (over 20 items) individually to save money due to an ‘A Current Affair’ segment.
Now I mumbled under my breath –‘Allah’ - to keep my concept of ‘practice what you preach when you walk through life’ so as not to strangle her.
Her response:”Did you just swear in Muslim to me?”
Me: "No I did not.”
Her: “It sounded like it. I think you did. What did you say?”
Me: “I said God or specifically the concept of God the all knowing”
Her: “Why?”
Me: “Because I am tired and trying to keep my patience and I am struggling so I am asking him for help.”
Then I began to open up my Chump bar to eat pre-purchase. The next thing the Chump bar is on the floor of my trolley as the lady has swatted it out of my hand. So I calmly looked up at her and again thanked Allah for my forensic training.....
Me: “Yes?”
Her: “You filthy Muslim scum should not be in this country and now you even look like us. Who do you think you are looking at me and asking God to help you with me when you are as bad as the devil that you kill people like the bloody Jews (I am actually Jewish ironically). You have insulted me and the freedom of my country. F#@$ Off and get out of this line.”
I was in Paddington Woolworths - I thought a good suburb...mmm....
Me: “I will not move, you cannot demand it and as an Australian, born and bred, I will defer to your tyrannical mood. Continue with your stingy shopping so I can leave and go home to my pool.”
Her: “You are filth.”
Me: “Yes no doubt.”
But now I was getting frustrated. So I swore at my Guide Elizabeth who said: “Patience is not your virtue Julianna (yeah no shit I mentally mumbled) but this lady had her husband walk out on her and stop paying child support and is struggling, scared and confused. Just shut up, take it and show her Grace.”
Well, this was a bit of a tall order. But I did.
She stared at me then continued to do her shopping. When she went to pay she had insufficient funds, so she asked could she remove some. So I took my $50 out and put my basket on the floor and gently walked around her to get past her.
I gave the $50 to the poor 20+ checkout girl and said it was to be used for the groceries. The lady just stared at me, the 20+ just stared at me, the line just stared at me and all I thought was...
Things are tight for so many now. I know what it is like to be a single mum working three jobs, studying, scared, frustrated and desolate - but I always had belief in myself and my capacity. Even now when things are hard NO ONE can take that from me.
So I walked away with my heart racing from the insult and the stares (I actually am not comfortable in the public arena) and around the corner to a little coffee shop and sat and thought about it. And I decided to go back to my Coles for the shopping!
The lady was walking past to the car park and came to me.
“Thank you.” Nothing else was said, not another second spared for me. She just walked off.
The moral I learnt from my Guide that day:
Grace is providing the space for a human to be human. Knowledge is knowing when to stand your ground in life and when to give Grace. I am no ‘Mother Teresa’ as one of my friends called me for this. I am human, I know pain, I know joy and I know that through my life I have had my fair share - so why do we as Humans insist on sharing more pain instead of taking a second to stop this particular cycle of hurt?
